Principles

Beyond being authentic and telling you the truth, I’ll tell you the truth even if it means I have to tell you I’m wrong, don’t know or don’t have the skills you need. I will be fair and transparent in all our dealings. This means I will never offer you quick fixes when they aren’t realistic or mislead you into thinking that I have solutions that don’t require effort on your part.

I deeply believe that most people are capable, rational and good which is why I became a coach. Coaching is based on positive psychology, sometimes called the “science of happiness”, and it assumes that people are basically well but may have challenges and need tools, direction and new frames for tackling them. I start out from the perspective that YOU are the expert on yourself and are already perfectly capable of making the changes you need to live your best life. What I offer are tools, guidance and a whole lot of cheerleading to get you there! This goes for my individual and equally for my organizational services.

As a social scientist I have been trained to know how to use substantive peer reviewed evidence and rational thinking to address difficult social problems. I use this training to hone all my services to better meet my clients needs. For organizational clients I use these skills creating tools, assessments, evaluations, protocols and trainings. For individual clients I use and suggest evidence-based tools. This means I occasionally update my ideas as the science evolves because I am always researching and reading. I consider it my job to be the expert on what works so you can get on with figuring out your own balanced imperfection.

Harm reduction is a movement, a philosophy, a public health approach and a personal practice initially applied to drug use during the AIDS epidemic. Harm reductionists argued against shaming or ostracizing people who use drugs. They saw people who take serious risks as people with dignity and worth capable of changing their behavior. I became involved with harm reduction in 1996. As early harm reductionists, we sought to see drug use and its impact clearly—good and ill—and to empower drug users themselves to change their own behavior by giving them the evidence-based tools and information they need. Our methods were unprecedented but our success in preventing disease, saving lives and improving people’s well-being is undeniable. Though harm reduction was initially developed to help folks dealing with drug related harm it has been expanded to include all kinds of challenging or risky behaviors and the philosophy of harm reduction, which is fundamentally about unconditional positive regard and empowerment, infuses all of my work.

I am intimately familiar with the damage of structural barriers on health and well-being. I am also aware that the cultural lenses we inherit from our social location influence the way we approach things, the stories we tell ourselves and the tools that can help move us forward. Social oppression and privilege are real and have real, measurable, impacts on our well-being and our communities. As a person with a complex social identity I have done a lot of work deconstructing my own oppression and privilege and I can help you identify and analyze the cultural messages holding you back from taking full control of your life and finding the balance, bliss and harmony you need.

I take individual and organizational privacy very seriously. We cannot work together effectively unless you can be fully authentic and no one can do that without the safety of full privacy so I pledge to protect your privacy and confidentiality from every kind of intrusion.

I am not a sex coach per se but sexuality is a HUGE part of most of our lives. I believe that all forms of actively consensual sex should be celebrated and treated as practical matters. I got my start in human sexuality studies as an undergraduate student and have been immersed in sex positive / kinky / queer culture for many years. As a sex positive polyamory practitioner I am well versed as to the challenges ‘out-of-the-box’ sexuality can offer, how to deal with those and learn to celebrate your unique sexual joy.

Perfection does not exist and thus is an impossible goal. Instead each of us is perfectly unique and uniquely imperfect. I embrace our imperfections. In place of the pursuit of absolutes or perfection I support incremental change and balanced imperfection.

It may sound trite but it’s true– love is my primary guiding principle and I try to ensure that it infuses everything I do. Because I believe that real love is unconditional and non-judgmental that is the way I always practice. From a place of non-judgment and care.